“I might have to wait. I will never give up. I guess it’s half timing, and the other half’s luck. Wherever you are, whenever its right, out of nowhere you will come into my life.”- Michael Buble
I am from California, and Ryan is from Maine and together we met in the middle, in Dallas-Forth Worth. Yes everyone I fell in love. And even before Ryan, I have to say dating in the south has been fun. Maybe it’s because I am not from here and I can use the cheeky line “I just moved here from California, will you show me around?”, or maybe because I had nothing to lose but with only a fresh perspective in hand- my openness was met with amazing, sweet, gentlemen everywhere (ok maybe I am trying to sell Dallas to all my single girlfriends in Cali so you can move here to be with me ;)). I wasn’t always so receptive, in fact I was pretty jaded when I was dating in LA and even on a recent trip to Vegas with some Dallas gals- they convinced me that this town was not any better. It’s safe to say for many girls being 30-something and still single, you begin to lose hope and faith and fast. And like Carrie and her girls in “Sex and the City”, I was beginning to think I should start considering my girlfriends as my soul mates and that men, were just icing on top. And so I came to Dallas, with very little expectations, trying to have a little fun and maybe, just maybe even a little hope for some romance…
Probably the week before I met Ryan, I truly believed and even said it out loud, that I believed in love for other people- be it in fairy tales or my friends, but not for me. I had anxiety about my failures in life especially in the love department. How many broken hearts I have witnessed firsthand, felt, nights where I thought I would never love again? How many weddings have I gone solo, with no date to only weep in the bathroom wondering if I would ever wed myself? How many bad relationships where I was confident that it would work out and didn’t? To be honest, after so many failed relationships, I began to just be embarrassed. When I look at successful couples, I honestly asked myself what do they have that I don’t? And after a lot of self work and soul searching and learning to love yourself, you realize the only thing they have that I didn’t was luck.
At 33, I finally became comfortable being single. Loving my life, my friends and cherishing the meaning of what my home would be even without a mate or children. And even though I didn’t believe in love anymore, I always knew I would never give up trying to find it. And at the end of the day, at least I knew I put myself out there. And the second I did, my attitude changed and I had fun with it. Life can be shitty, so embrace it and when you can, have fun with it. It is a numbers game and luck, but if you can find the right attitude, I have no doubt have in front of me the man I have manifested, chiseled in my dreams and my life experience, no one better fits this more than Ryan. As my dad says, sometimes you run out of bad luck and you only have good luck around the corner.
And that is what I did. I got laid off, I moved to Dallas and I started taking life in my own hands. I met Ryan and we knew instantly there was a connection that was undeniable. In a very short amount time (you are welcome to ask me how amazing and how fast our love developed), I am proud to be Ryan’s girlfriend and partner in life. We often talk about the future and though I would rather not have another failure, I realize I need to live in the moment and in today. Today, I am happy and want to be the best friend and girlfriend I can be to Ryan. In the future, who knows? All I know people die, divorces happen, things change all the time. As morbid as it may sound, I can’t let that stop me from believing. Life has become a game of acceptance and trust and I can only follow in its course.
So my advice if you too are looking for love, don’t be afraid to fall in love. Don’t be afraid to get your heart broken. To love and to live has become a cornucopia of feelings for me and without contrast or knowing pain and sadness, I would have never been able to appreciate the grandeur of gratitude on the other side. Life is short, and however temporal or dreamy my situation is, pinch me, because no matter what these feelings are real.
On a side note, back to basics with my blog:
Top 5 Things I love about Dallas
1. 3 hours away from Austin
I love Austin and I can see why most Californians love it too. From the quintessential vintage stores (found the best ones there- if you have never been go to Cream Vintage), hipster shops and bars and the mobile food stops (think Kogi trucks and the like from LA), this is a definite Berkeley of the South. From the live music, I heart Austin. But for me, Dallas is where my home is and the possibilities are limitless from my new friends, the cultural Mecca of museums, zoos and the such. Most of all I love Dallas because I have made it my home, it’s a foodie town, it’s easy and affordable (no worries about traffic in comparison to LA) and did I say it’s easy? I met a girl recently who lives in LA and from Dallas, we both agreed there is something about Dallas that is just easy living. And if I run into too many rednecks (none so far), I can always escape to Austin for the weekend.
When I visited DFW (Dallas Fort Worth) a couple of months back, I was in awe when out of the blue a herd of crows came flying out of nowhere. Gasping, I thought I was in a Hitchhock movie. Since then I notice birds everywhere and there is something about the warmth, the humidity and the animals that make it feel retardly and redundantly at peace. I see squirrels almost every day, and already twice I have seen bright green lizards right outside my apartment, you never see that in LA.
3. Go Texan and food
Though produce here sucks (trust me one of the things I miss the most is the farmers markets in California), there are a lot of pride in artisan farmers. Check out Lucky Layla yogurts when you are here or Texas olive oil. Stay away from Texan wines- good cooking wine though wine tasting in Grapevine can be a fun experience. Anyways I joined Go Texan on facebook to keep track of local Texan food, chefs and the like.
4. Young Professional
If you are single, Dallas makes it easy for you. The rumor has it, everyone that gets married and has kids moves away from the hub of the town in order to have more affordable housing and better schools- think suburban dreams. From Plano to Fort Worth, these towns are slower and still shine with the shopping and eats. But for the trendy hipster or the young professionals, almost everyone lives in the hub (downtown, deep ellum, oak lawn, uptown or where I live, lower Greenville). I can walk downstairs and grab a drink at the local pub and feel at ease. It’s nice to have a local bar, with very reasonable prices and feel at home.
5. Economy and Affordability
It’s affordable here. Repeat. LA is beautiful, full of beautiful people, art, and fashion. But it’s also expensive and I always wonder how people can afford to live there. All I do instead is take the style and taste I have acquired in California and brought it here. I am still a California girl at heart, shopping at small boutiques to find a nice vintage find or eating out with a nice cold glass of a triple Belgium ale, Fin du Monde. And when I miss the ocean, I go sit by the lake with a cold beer in hand and munch on some fried shrimp. J